Do you ever feel like you are always working towards something?

Are you constantly searching for something bigger and better?

For years I spent so much of my life seeking to succeed and make a name for myself. I was always working to obtain my next goal or dream. This is a vicious cycle of the world and sadly keeps us out of the grasp of experiencing God to the fullest.

If I owned this, I would feel worthy.

If I achieved that, I would be content.

If I had what they had, I would feel significant.

If I made more money, I would finally be satisfied.

If I got that promotion, I would finally be satisfied.

If I got that promotion, I would feel valued.

If I could only get that person to love me, I would have security.

 Book Description

We all long for more of something in our lives. In our endless pursuit to feel worth and acceptance we find ourselves sacrificing everything for the promise to be a little more beautiful, a little richer, a little more powerful and successful, a little more loved.

How do we break free from these empty pursuits and start chasing the only Promise that will ever satisfy? How do we uncover the hidden idols that are driving us and turn our devotion toward the one true God?

Join Pastor and best-selling author Pete Wilson in discovering the joy and freedom that comes with seeking after God with your whole life. Learn how to replace, and not just relinquish, life’s empty promises by turning your focus and worship toward Him. It is the only thing that will set you absolutely free from the endless pursuit of everything else.

I am crazy screwed up. My only hope is Jesus!

As I have begun to be more intentional in my walk with Him, I have begun to experience a new way to look at people. We are all screwed up and we are all broken in more ways than we even recognize or want to admit to, right? So if we are all broken then why the hell are we so mean, hurtful and cruel to one another?

God has been prompting me to apologize for being judgmental to people. I know it may sound crazy because let’s be honest more times than not they do NOT even know we have judged them. However; I know (we know) I have judged them and it makes me feel dirty inside every time I cross paths or run into them. In asking for forgiveness we are bringing to light what is hiding inside ourselves. As we bring it to light we can begin to re-pattern our thinking and way of dealing with people especially those we find hard to love.

Is there someone at work, at church, in your neighborhood or in your family that you have been judging in your head or behind their back?

Those deep-rooted opinions can be dragging you down and possibly stopping you from sharing His love. Might I suggest spending some time praying and asking God who you need to ask for forgiveness?

God will bless our obedience!

Jesus, undeterred, went right ahead and gave his charge: “God authorized and commanded me to commission you: Go out and train everyone you meet, far and near, in this way of life, marking them by baptism in the threefold name: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Then instruct them in the practice of all I have commanded you. I’ll be with you as you do this, day after day after day, right up to the end of the age.-Matthew 28:19 MSG

We are to go out and teach others to live and the best way to do this is in our own actions and walking life with Him “day after day, right up to the end of the age”!

Satan has a way of getting us distracted from what God is asking us to do in life. The distractions come in many forms; relationships, sweets, chocolate, tv, wine, beer and even social media. Satan wants us to be so consumed with things of the world that God can no longer get or keep our attention during the day.

This morning as I was writing and enjoying my quiet time I realized God has been showing me how I do not “need” certain things in my life anymore. For instance I enjoy sweets far too much and I have been known to go on covert operations to the store to get chocolate with every intention of eating it and hiding the evidence before I get into the house. I have been so into a tv series that I will put off getting into the word in order to find out what happened on the latest episode (because I can not stay up past 9pm). Whatever the form of distraction anything “good” can become an addiction and cause us to be distracted from God and what He is doing around us.

Only the Spirit of God knows what God is doing or purposing in my life.

As I was reading this morning I realized certain distractions have crept back into my life in order for God to show me it doesn’t matter how far along I am in my journey I am still capable of falling like any one else.

Learning to live life with purpose can be difficult. We all face struggles and set backs in life and in each instance we will grow stronger and bolder for His kingdom.

The Spirit, not content to flit around on the surface, dives into the depths of God, and brings out what God planned all along. Who ever knows what you’re thinking and planning except you yourself? The same with God—except that he not only knows what he’s thinking, but he lets us in on it. God offers a full report on the gifts of life and salvation that he is giving us. We don’t have to rely on the world’s guesses and opinions. We didn’t learn this by reading books or going to school; we learned it from God, who taught us person-to-person through Jesus, and we’re passing it on to you in the same firsthand, personal way. 1 Cor 2:10-13 Message

I despise the idea that I need to pretend I am “perfect” and without sin in order to share my journey with Jesus. I will NEVER pretend to have it all figured out or that I do NOT have my own struggles. We will all stumble and in hiding it we are just pretending… let’s be real!!

What is God asking you to give up for more of Him?

We must decide whether we will do what we want and ask God to bless it or go to work where He is working.

Where are you in your journey with the Father?

For a while I have been  feeling led down a new and exciting path. It is a path I have NOT seen many travel and as scary as it first seemed God has really brought some amazing woman into my life whom are journeying along a similar path.

I have shifted my focus from church to God himself!

Now I am NOT saying God is not in the church or God is anti-church… what I am saying is I have spent too much time trying to find my niche in  ”a church” and trying to break the glass ceiling instead of focusing on God and seeing where He is working so I could join Him.

What does it look like to join God?

Last week my son and I stopped at the grocery store on the way to his school and we were approached by a homeless lady who wanted money. I told her I did not have any money but I could buy her something in the store. After first resisting she then asked for a yogurt and banana. So despite the fact my son and I were running late we got her the requested food and water. When we came out she was gone so we began to look for her. As I gave her the bag of food I did NOT give her a track or ask her if I could pray for her instead I just smiled and said have a good day. Her need was food and God allowed me to bless her right where she was at in life.

The very next day as my family was going into a taco shop for dinner we were stopped by two homeless people asking for money. Without thinking I asked them if they would like some Mexican food? They hesitated but then joined us in the taco shop. They ordered their food, chatted with us for a few minutes and then decided to sit alone. We showed His love without obligation or feeling the need to “fix” or change them… God allowed us to bless them right where they are at in life. Again no track, bible or prayer; instead love through action.

I do not tell you this to get a pat on the back, I say this because God gives us opportunities ALL the time and yet many times we are blinded or distracted with busyness or schedules. We think we shouldn’t help people because they have chosen a particular lifestyle. We are okay brushing those less fortunate off because we give our tithe  and someone else can help “those” people. We ignore them all together because they are dirty and they smell.

How would Jesus treat them?

Who would Jesus rather eat with you or the homeless?

If we are to be Christ like then why have we elevated ourselves above people?

Why do we judge or pick apart other believers?

My best guess is our focus is NOT on God and instead we are just playing the part and walking through life blinded by appearance. I pray we can begin to shift our focus and begin to see God at work all around us… and maybe we can begin to join Him in getting dirty in this life He has given us.

I’m not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don’t get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I’ve got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I’m off and running, and I’m not turning back. Phil 3:14 MSG

Where is your focus?

Holy Spirit by Bryan & Katie Torwalt has been my daily prayer…. really something I catch myself singing all day long.

We each have our own journey with God. In marriage it can be hard not to want better for your spouse yet our controlling issues can actually hinder what God is trying to do in our spouses.

We have to remember, “There are no shortcuts in intimacy with God. It takes time and many experiences with Him as he teaches us and guides us in His ways.” -Hearing God’s Voice

It is God’s job to teach us and this is true of our spouses, too. Our only job is to love our husbands with Jesus’ love and to let go of them so God can teach and guide their path.

We need to accept people just as they are, trusting God will change them in time. Accepting them as people does not mean you condone their behavior or beliefs. It simply means you respect their humanity enough to let them work through the process. People open their lives to those who accept them the way they are and not run from those who are always trying to change them into what they think they should be. -Authentic Relationship

It is sad that we can love on broken strangers right where they are at in life yet we struggle to love those closest to us.

Our husbands need love, grace and acceptance. God has a plan for them and we need to let go so God can fully engage them… sadly for years I believe I have inhibited my husband from hearing from God because I am a control freak.

We can not focus on our own journey with God if we are obsessing and worried about our husbands. As we take our eyes off our husbands and train them to God the peace of the Holy Spirit will fill our house.

Nothing has changes about the circumstances of our marriages. Our husbands are still who they are yet because our eyes are focussed on God and we are being obedient and our husbands are free to be themselves.

Allowing our husbands to have their own journey does not  mean we put up with abuse but it does take off the stress we may have added to our marriages.

There are three journey’s taking place; there is my journey, my husband’s journey and our journey together.

There is freedom in this change of focus.

Like a spinning merry-go-round on the playground, a self focused life will unwittingly push others away. If we are going to participate in the joy of relationships we need to let Jesus rewire our thinking so that we are even more aware of others than we are of ourselves. -Authentic Relationship

Amazingly enough as I have “let go” God has allowed me to follow my husband into situations I may NOT have wanted to go on my own. This past Friday he wanted to go to a co-workers house I   met for a party. Admittedly I was resistant and wanted to fight but I could feel God’s peace and presence all around me. A simple act of faith lead me to a conversation about marriage, God and church I did NOT see happening… BUT God did and when we are obedient He will use us in ways we never thought possible.

Be encouraged He is working all around us and most especially in our marriages!

Be obedient and watch what He does around you and how He chooses to use you to further His kingdom!

This evening as I entered the local Starbucks coffee shop it was empty. I was excited because the four comfy chairs in the corner were vacant… this is my favorite spot to sit and chat with our bible study group. Before anyone arrived an older gentlemen carrying a laptop came and sat next to me despite all the empty seats. Inside I wanted to politely tell him I was saving the sets but I held my tongue. As everyone began to arrive they just pulled up more chairs and the older man asked if he should move… again despite my flesh I said no unless the talking would bother him.

As our group talked about our lives and everything that we were learning and/or struggling with the man asked if he could share something…

Okay at this point I was like wow God this must be something good or it could be the devil tripping us up either way I was going to be patient.

If we are going to participate in the joy of relationships we need to let Jesus rewire our thinking so that we are more aware of others than we are of ourselves.

As Barry began to share his life stories and wisdom I realized very quickly that he got emotional easily however; was able to shut it off quickly. In all his stories there was something so distant and removed. It was as if he was disconnected from life and all his tales had to do with the past. He explained how he never appreciated his one true love in life and so he lost her because he was too selfish. He spoke about how we all have cross roads we face all through out our day and we can either choose love or hurt. He also shared the pain of mistakes and forgiveness. He has not spoken to his brother in 30 years and he kept saying Gordy (his brother) is not saved. (I can’t wait to hear the groups perspective on his stories… that will have to wait for next week).

Through this whole situation I realized more and more how important relationship is to our lives. We need connection and friendships. These amazing ladies sat giving advice, listening and hearing Barry’s heart despite our own plans and expectations for the night. We may have gone to hang out and spend time with one another but instead God brought Barry to us for relationship and connection.

If you are a praying person could you please lift you Barry and Gordon Adams… that they may find peace, forgiveness and re-connection before it is too late.

A life lived in love will only work out of a growing trust in God to provide for us and show us how to love people he has put near us.

When your life is interrupted take a chance and see where God may lead you… you never know who you might be able to bless or love on in your community.

Yesterday there was something off in my heart all day long. I had an ache and desperation I could NOT describe in words. I began to feel discontent and irritable about my life and everything going on around me.

At my son’s baseball game another kid on his team purposely knocked his water out of his hand causing it to spill all over the place and leaving him with nothing to drink. With no cash on hand I had to leave the game and run down to a near by 7/11 to buy water. I found myself so frustrated and annoyed.

Why? What did I have to be frustrated about? I have a healthy beautiful son who loves playing sports and being apart of a team. I have a husband who is active in our son’s life and is a great provider for our family. I have a car to drive down to the store and I have the means to buy bottle water. There are so many blessings within this situation but I was allowing myself to be clouded by perspective.

As I woke this morning I had this overwhelming sense of wanting to look at life differently. I want to be able to see the positive in all situations. I want to take life in strides not allowing a bend or curve in my day to derail my thoughts or attitude. I want to be a shining light in the dugout, work and our home. I want to be different…

How do I do this when life happens? How do I stay positive when changes happened despite all my best planning?

When I watched this video yesterday I thought of so many “anythings” in my life.

If I am willing to do anything for Him then I MUST die to myself and I MUST be different despite all the odds against me.

What is your Anything?
– dreams of another baby
– financial security
– career
– marriage/ spouse
– a new car or home
– someone else salvation

In order for me to lay it all down I have to be willing to give it all away for Him, I have to be willing to trust His plans for me and NEVER second guess the things life throws at me.

Today I will walk with a new perspective, I will walk by faith and NOT by sight and I will focus my attention of God’s love because with Him we can do anything!!

There are times as a mom that I feel like a complete failure.

Just this morning my son was fighting me every step of the way. I felt at peace yet I also felt I kept hitting a wall with my son. As much as I want to parent with grace and love I have come to realize sometime I NEED to discipline my son and correct his behavior.

For me this is hard….

I have become easy about my son’s procrastination and how slow he gets his stuff done yet I struggle when he gets mouthy and rolls his eyes at me.

How do we correct without anger?

How do we correct them with love?

I feel like today started off all bad with my son. As he rolled his eyes and mouthed off to me I grabbed him and told him to STOP disrespecting me.

As he began to cry and fight I began to feel like a failure.

After walking away I came back and sat down with my son and explained how I was sorry if I hurt his feeling or if he was angry at me… however; I explained to him how I loved him and wanted to help guide him through life. I explained how me wanting to hold his hand in life was NOT about him not being independent but about me lovingly guiding him through his growth.

As my son gave me a hug and told me he loved me I embraced him and prayed we could learn to walk this journey with love, grace and discipline.

Being a mom can be so flipping hard and yet my hope is to be a reflection of God with my son. I know I still have a lot to learn however; my prayer is to be solid, strong, firm and at the same time loving, kind and gracious.

My friends if you are struggling today as a parent might I encourage you to grace and forgive yourself because we will NOT get everything right in parenting yet if we continue to grow and move forward with God we can have faith in His plan and purpose for our lives and the lives of our children (and our families as a whole).

Some mothers are kissing mothers and some are scolding mothers, but it is love just the same, and most mothers kiss and scold together.  ~Pearl S. Buck

The other night as I was saying good night to my 7yo son with tears in his eyes he asked me to pray for him. Confused because we had a good day I sat down on his bed and asked him why. My son began to tell me he was worried about the “big one” and not having any place to live.  The “Big One” I said!

The reality of living in California is yes we do have earthquakes and far more often than you think. Many times people do NOT even feel them as they are happening. However; for years EVERYONE has been talking about the “BIG ONE” happening and how we need to be prepared. Look I am all for being prepared but I am just NOT a fan of fretting or worrying about what might happen.

As I pray with my son and explained to him what it was like to feel the earthquake in 1989 during the World Series Game in San Francisco and I realized how often as adults we spend far too much time stressing and worrying about what next tragedy is going to happen in our lives.

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:34 NIV

As we grow and learn to trust God we will begin to worry less about what is going to come next and we will instead learn to enjoy every moment of every day.

I reassured my son God has a plan for us and if our house is indeed destroyed we would have plenty of loving homes in our family and friends who would be willing to take us in. I also reminded my son that trusting in God is the only way to find peace in the world. Trusting God can be difficult especially when we can NOT see what is around the corner.

So whether you are facing a loss, tragedy, anxiety or uncertainty in life I encourage you to let go and let God give you peace because trusting in Him is the only answer to the trouble this world will throw at you!